7 valuable lessons motherhood has taught me (so far)

I was reflecting recently on how my son and I are now at a point where we take turns to read sentences when we're reading his bedtime stories. He might still be getting the easier sentences at this point but the growth and progress is pretty heartwarming. Being a mother is one of those experiences where everything seems to take a long time while also happening really quickly but there are tons of valuable lessons that relate to life, love and faith in between. I'll share a few of the lessons I've gleaned so far below.

Mom brain is real, but so is the love

Mom brain, as most may already know, is the colloquial term used to refer to the brain fog / forgetfulness / being easily distracted that pregnant women or mothers who have been in the game for a few months often experience due to physical changes in the brain. In a nutshell, it gets real. #IYKYK. It pales in comparison, however, to the love that you get to give to and receive from your child over time. Even when you don't feel like the perfect mom you are perfect to them and in those moments that is all that matters. A child's love is a really pure and beautiful version of love; an absolute privilege to get to experience.

Not all moms connect immediately, and that's okay

Mothers generally gush over their little miracle the moment they lay their eyes on him/her. I didn't and this came as a bit of a surprise. I may have been teary eyed when they brought him towards my face before passing him on to the next person in the c-section team. Beyond that, however, I secretly struggled with "what do I do with him now?" whenever I looked at him over the next few days before being discharged from the hospital. Naturally, I felt sub-par as a mom over and above trying to adjust to everything that came with this new life. I'm grateful now that time and experience have taught me that initial moments like those don't determine the kind of mother you are likely to be or the kind of bond you will develop with your child over time.

God really is in everything

From the wild miracle that is conception...to carrying your baby until giving birth despite the fragility of pregnancy...to seeing God show up in unexpected ways during the parenting journey. You truly get to see God even in the smallest details when you look closely enough.

The novelty doesn't really wear off but grit will be required

When something positive is fairly new and unusual in your life, it is easier to put effort into it. After a while the novelty tends to wear off a little and we look for the next enticing thing. People's experiences differ but I'm among those who are constantly fascinated by the growth process in children. Given the fact that it is a lifelong job with no pay though, there are days when I just don't have the energy for what is required of me as a mom. This is when grit (courage and resolve; strength of character) is required. Kinda like most things worth having in life really...

How you use your words really matters

I didn't really know what being affirmed looked like while growing up (for context: my mom's primary love language is acts of service) but I decided that my children would be affirmed until they were sick of it. I see the fruits of that often when observing the kind of person Khwezi has turned out to be so far. Being intentional about how I use my words has really been useful in building up his confidence and trying to train him to have a positive perspective on everything.

You're probably stronger than you think you are

Few things teach you about your strength more than having to constantly bounce back and somehow offer your offspring a childhood experience that they don't have to recover from while dealing with your own recovery processes. But we make it work. That is strength in action

There's joy in the chaos

One doesn't have to be a mom to know just how chaotic and overwhelming children can be. Somehow, regardless, my favourite pockets of joy from the last 7+ years almost all have my son and his friends/cousins included somewhere in the memory; a constant reminder that joy and chaos can indeed co-exist.

There's obviously so much more that I could share on, but I'll stop there for now. For fellow parents who might also be reading this, may we never stop marveling at how being an active participant in moulding these little humans who will some day live out their own purpose somehow continues to mould us as we live out part of our purpose by raising them.

Chat soon